


Kitties!

by MjrGenMatt, Precursor



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Funny, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 18:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MjrGenMatt/pseuds/MjrGenMatt, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precursor/pseuds/Precursor
Summary: Gavin and Nines go to a cat shelter, where nothing bad will happen. I swear.Co-"written" with Precursor, where she acted as Nines, and I acted as Gavin.





	Kitties!

**Author's Note:**

> This occurred in the group chat between Precursor and her beta readers. Mostly to torture Cerulaine.
> 
> I'm too lazy to properly format this lol, sorry in advance. Enjoy!

N: Detective, remind me what we’re doing here?

G: I told you already, dipshit, we're here to adopt a cat

N: *pinches brow*  
You must understand, whenever we come here you just leave a sobbing mess because you’re incapable of making a decision. How will this occasion be any different?

G: Shut your fucking mouth, Nines, I swear you are such a downer-  
*remembers the last time this exact thing happened*  
Phk... alright fine, you're right, but not another word from you

N: Do I not get a say in the feline you wish to live with us, Detective Reed? If I’m being honest, I have my doubts about you taking care of another living being. You can barely take care of yourself. I will be its primary caretaker, thus I should have a say

G: It's different when it's one of these little guys, alright? I don't expect you to understand, just don't ruin the moment for me  
*pushes way into shelter*

N: *holds door before it slaps him in the back*  
Fine, but we will not be bringing a runt into this household, do you understand me? I refuse to take care of ANOTHER biological compound with a conscious that cannot be self-sufficient.

G: *low grumbling*  
Swear to God this motherfucker...  
*walks around corner, kittens everywhere*  
Oh… my god...  
*hands fly to cover mouth*

N: *mumbles under breath*  
I don’t suppose it’s too late for you to have an allergy to cats you don’t know about...  
*checks watch*  
wishful thinking, I suppose.  
*starts timer*  
30 minutes, Gavin.

G: Do you have an allergy to happiness, you joyless dicksuck?  
*closes eyes and exhales deeply*  
Just... give them a chance.  
I think you might even learn to like something after this-  
*kitten sprints at Gavin, latches onto pant leg*

N: No, but one without state of the art processors might recognize behavioral tendencies to enjoy suffering considering how much time I spend with YOU.  
*kneels down to pick up kitten off Gavin’s leg by back of neck scruff*  
*holds kitten to eyes*  
*narrows eyes*  
Pitiful.

G: *snatches kitten back*  
NINES! LOOK at this little thing!  
*cat is orange with green eyes*  
*Gavin puts down cat, it runs circles around his shoes chasing the laces*  
I think I'm in love, holy shit...  
I'M GONNA CALL HER MUFFIN

N: Did I say I was done making my observation, Detective?  
*leans down*  
I don’t believe I DID.  
*snatches kitten*

G: *kitten starts clawing at RK900's sleeve, biting his fingers*  
Are you seriously telling me that you don't think that is the most adorable thing?

N: I find it incredibly futile for this creature to believe it can pierce my simulated flesh with its...tiny...little...fangs...  
*LED blinks yellow*  
Detective Reed I suggest we evacuate the premise immediately there is a murder we must investigate and-

G: AH AH AH, what was that I just saw, Nines? Was that hesitation i just saw?! I don't believe that for a fucking second, prick!  
*looks down hallway, sees 28 more kittens*  
Nines, I don't care if they're trying to murder my mother, they're just gonna have to die

N: Gavin, I can’t stay here. I have a mission to uphold. I have a job to do, and so do you.  
*backing away from army of kittens*  
Please- their eyes, they-  
*YELLOW BLINKING*

G: Ha! *boisterous laughter* This is too rich! I should take a picture so I can relive this perfect fucking moment every goddamn day!  
*in deep thought again*  
You know what, Nines, you're right. I think I have a solution.  
*points at clerk*  
I'll take all of them.

N: DETECTIVE I HIGHLY OBJECT TO THIS DECISION. ABSOLUTELY NOT!  
*looks to clerk*  
We’re buying his E N T I R E facility.

G: Ahh, but you don't control my wallet, Nines. So, you do not get to make that call.  
*looks at RK900, 8 kittens hanging off of him*  
And I think they've already made their choice, too.  
Just as well, saves me the money on a cat climbing toy.

N: *evil grin*  
I don’t need to control your wallet, Detective...you haven’t seen my CyberLife account.  
*looks at clerk*  
Have you received the money wire?  
“Yes, sir. Paperwork will begin tomorrow.”  
*looks back to Gavin, looks at kittens*  
Now they’re all mine, Detective...

G: *slams wall*  
WHAT. THE FUCK. NINES  
*looks at clerk*  
He can't bring all of these cats to CyberLife, and he resides at my house, so I’M keeping them there

C: I’m sorry sir, CyberLife now owns this facility, manages staffing, and has signed away all registration permissions to Mr. Kamski, acting under this RK900 android.

N: You hear that, Gavin?  
They belong to me

G: *drops to knees, throws hands up to ceiling*  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

N: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

G: *expression shifts to show new idea*  
YOU KNOW SOMETHING NINES  
I think the shelter in Deerborn has kittens too...  
*bolts out*

N: *disables car*  
We’ll see how fast you can get there ON FOOT.

G: *already down street*  
GOOD THING THE TRAINS RUN, BITCH

N: *sighs*  
Dispatch, this is RK900 - yes, NINES... I’d like to report a reckless endangerment


End file.
